


the group mind has decided you're in love

by kimannhart



Series: bucky barnes bingo 2019 [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, Humor, M/M, Musical, This is just pure chaos tbh, literally pls don't take this seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-17 02:08:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18955762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimannhart/pseuds/kimannhart
Summary: When news hit that Bucky and Tony had broken up, all of their friends were confused but kept out of their business for a good while before deciding the two idiots needed to get back together. And what's a better way to say so than with a musical number?





	the group mind has decided you're in love

**Author's Note:**

> Okay honestly, I just really miss Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and decided to take one of my favorite songs and numbers from the show and turn it into a fic! Most of the dialogue and all the lyrics came from [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24eVmr9b5kM). 
> 
> This is a fill for Bucky Barnes Bingo 2019. Square: U2: Crack.
> 
> Also, I didn't proofread this so there's probably gonna be mistakes and I apologize for that, but I hope you still enjoy this chaotic crack fic!

When news had spread down the grapevine that Bucky and Tony had broken up, all of their friends were confused. The two had screamed perfect relationship, or as Harley and Peter called it, “relationship goals.” For everyone, it was strange to see the two interact but to see no public displays of affection anymore—even though it was clear that they still clearly love each other. While they all wanted to butt in and question why they even broke up in the first place, they decided to just stay out of it for the time being. They all hoped that Bucky and Tony would get their act together and get back together. But after their latest mission had caused for a baby to end up in Tony’s care, Bucky had gravitated towards the two, and they all acted like one big happy family. The only issue was that Bucky and Tony still were broken up. Quite frankly, all of their friends were tired of watching the two fools act like still weren’t in love with each other, and had now decided to do something about it.

* * *

 Bucky, Tony, and sweet baby Cleo were sitting together on top of a blanket outside of the compound laughing and having a great time. Sharon, Steve, Clint, and Scott took one look at them and nodded that it was go time.

As soon as the four were in eyesight of the trio, a look of confusion appeared on Bucky and Tony’s faces.

“Why are they coming over here?” Bucky asked.

“I have no idea Snowflake.”

Before Bucky could even think of possible reasons, Sharon voice broke through, “Okay, we’ve all had enough of this!”

Bucky lifted his hands up to stop them from getting any closer. His eyes scanned the foursome, still a bit confused at the looks of irritation—mostly on Sharon—and determination on their faces. “Okay, okay. What’s going on here guys? What’s up?”

“C’mon you two, you’re relationship is important to us. Just give in and get in the spirit!” Sharon replied.

“Yeah!” Steve nodded.

Sharon grabbed Bucky’s right arm, pulled him up, and looped her arm in his. Sharon twirled the two around and suddenly they were all taken to a different location and music began to play out of nowhere.

“What the fuck? How did you—where the fuck are we? Where the fuck did Cleo go? Why am I wearing a cowboy hat?” The questions flowed out of Tony’s mouth rapidly as he took in their new location. “Are we in a _barn_? Okay, no seriously, where are we guys?”

“How did you guys change so fast? Where the hell is that music coming from?” Bucky asked as he pointed out the western clothing that Sharon, Steve, Clint, and Scott were now sporting. “Oh god, what’s happening?”

“It’s yer weddjin day!” exclaimed Steve in a southern drawl as he adjusted his hat.

“No, we’re broken up,” Tony explained as he pointed his thumb towards Bucky.

Sharon groaned and pushed Tony and Bucky out of her way and began to sing. “ _You say you’re broken up, that it’s over_ ”

Bucky rolled his eyes, “Uh, yeah.” He glanced towards Tony, who still looked confused as hell, and mouthed a _what the fuck is going on_ , and received a shrug from Tony as they continued to watch their friends break out into song.

“ _Yes, you’ve both been ‘bout as stubborn as can be_ ,” Sharon continued.

“ _You tell ‘em, Sharon!_ ” Clint chimed in.

“ _But we see from afar,_ ” Sharon placed one hand on Bucky’s cheek, and the other hand on Tony’s cheek and pushed their heads close together. “ _Just how cute you are, and the thought of it makes everyone all squee._ ”

The moment ‘squee’ left Sharon’s mouth, Steve, Clint, and Scott circled them and sang, “ _Squee! Squee! Squee!”_

Clint grabbed onto Bucky’s arm while Steve grabbed onto Tony’s and they twirled the duo. Steve placed both of his arms around Bucky and Tony’s shoulders and gave them a squeeze.

“Oh god, is Steve gonna sing now?” Tony mumbled out lowly.

“ _We don’t know why you’re fightin’ the inevitable,_ ” Steve sang.

“ _With ya, Steve!_ ” Clint agreed.

“ _It’s clear to us that you are both soulmates,_ ” Steve continued as he wiggled his body down at ‘soulmates’ before going back up and squeezed their shoulders once more. “ _Plus, you’re kinda the only two, LGBTQ,_ ” Steve dragged out the ‘o’ and ‘q’ in the last two words, “ _People I know, so to me, it’s clearly fate._ ”

The moment Steve started singing Bucky raised an amused eyebrow, but that look was immediately replaced with annoyance when Bucky heard the last line. “Okay, you need to get out more Stevie!”

“ _It’s confirmed_ ,” Sharon sang as she and Steve twirled Bucky and Tony once more.

“ _It’s confirmed_ ,” Scott, Steve, and Clint sang back.

“ _It’s official_ ,” Steve nodded.

“ _It’s official_.”

As Bucky and Tony were being dragged in to dance along to their little square dancing number, the duo kept glancing back and forth to each other. Bucky had wanted to cut in and demand that they all stop, but when he saw the adorable confused but still amused look on Tony’s face at their friends’ antics, he kept quiet.

“ _Court adjourned_ ,” Scott gleefully sang.

“ _Court adjourned_.”

“ _Now kiss a little_ ,” Clint begged.

“ _Kiss a little_.”

“ _The mass mob has declared you’re in love, love, love, love!_ ”

Bucky and Tony jumped a bit, not expecting for them to all sing together and place their hands on their shoulders.

“Clint, don’t you have bigger problems going on right now?” Bucky asked once he gained his composure.

“Yes, and this is a welcome distraction!” Clint pushed aside Bucky and Tony and gave a little kick. “ _Now, you might say we just need a distraction_.”

“But, you just said that!” Tony pointed out. He pouted when all he got in return was a harsh shush from Clint.

“ _From the stress and drama of our lives._ ” Clint plugged his fingers into his ears, “ _But I go ‘lalalala’ when you swear, that there’s nothing there_.”

“ _Your love’s the only reason I survive_ ,” Scott confessed as he rested his elbow on Tony, took off his hat and gave a small back kick.

“I’m sorry, what’s your name again?” Tony questioned.

“Who is this guy?” Bucky whispered to Tony.

“ _It’s confirmed!_ ” Clint yelled.

“ _It’s confirmed!_ ”

“ _It’s ah-fficial,_ ” Clint kept singing as they continued their square dance number.

“ _It’s ah-fficial_.”

Bucky and Tony tried to sneak away from the group but was pulled back in by Steve and Scott.

“ _The group mind has decided you’re in love!_ ” Clint and Scott sang together.

“ _Say ‘yes’ to long term!_ ” Scott pointed to them.

“ _Say ‘yes’!_ ”

“ _Look what I whittled!_ ” Clint handed Bucky a wooden sculpture of Bucky and Tony holding hands in western attire.

“This is so creepy,” Bucky commented as he and Tony looked at the sculpture.

“It is,” Tony agreed, “But the level of detail on this is amazing so I’m just gonna ignore the creepy aspect of this.”

“ _Hot dang! The mass mob has declared that you’re in love, love, love, love!_ ”

“Everybody stretch, time to dance!” Steve commanded.

Bucky and Tony slowly began to move around as everyone started stretching, trying to find a way out of the dance number before they got pulled in. But they found no way of escape and ended up bumping their bodies into each other.

“Ooph, sorry,” Tony apologized as his hands reached out to Bucky’s to steady himself.

“Sorry, sorry. I don’t know where to go. There’s no way—” Bucky stopped himself mid sentence when his eyes saw the rest of their friends.

“What the fuck? How are you all here? I still want to know where we are and where the fuck that music is coming from!” Tony complained as Natasha, Bruce, Sam, Carol, and Thor joined in.

“We all want you two idiots back together too!” Natasha explained.

“Now let’s dance!” Carol rallied.

As their friends began to dance a well choreographed number, Bucky and Tony sat on a stack of hay bale and watched.

“How did they find the time to do all of this?”

“I don’t even know, doll. I wanna ask, but I’m kinda terrified at how well put together this number is, especially considering Stevie can’t dance for shit. I’m sort of convinced they aren’t our actual friends right now.”

“You think they’re skrulls?”

“Possibly,” Bucky shrugged. “Or this is all some weird alternative universe or hallucination that Loki decided to play on us.”

“I just wanna know when this is gonna end. I’m worried about Morgan.”

Bucky reached out and gave Tony’s a hand a reassuring squeeze. “Same here, doll.” Bucky focused his attention back to their friends. “Okay, we got the message!” Bucky called out to them.

“Please go on with your lives,” Tony added in.

The two were both ignored as everyone continued to dance.

“Guys, seriously. C’mon, you can all stop now,” Bucky tried once more but was met with more dancing. “Okay, so this is just not about us at all anymore.”

“Nope, it is not.”

The tone of the music changed to a soft flute and Sharon, Natasha, and Carol danced in the middle. All three of them gracefully moving around.

“So, now they’re randomly doing ballet?” Tony tilted his head to the side in confusion.

“I guess so. It’s hard to follow.” Bucky sighed out. Bucky raised an eyebrow as the music tone changed once more to a hip hop style beat while Steve, Sharon, and Scott did some sort of tutting section and dabbed at the end. “Okay, that’s not even the correct dance language for this piece!”

Sharon ran over to where Bucky and Tony were sitting, grabbed their hands to have them stand up, and pushed them towards the group. “C’mon!”

Thor reached for their hands and immediately spun them around for a bit. Though, it quickly ended when Rhodey entered the scene.

“Honey Bear?”

“Okay seriously, where is everyone coming from?” Bucky looked around, trying to find some sort of portal.

“Stop it! Now stop it, c’mon! Leave these guys alone. For the record, it is possible to be platonically friends with someone you’ve just broken up with!” Rhodey scolded.

“Do you really believe that Rhodes?” Steve asked in disbelief.

“No, I just wanted to be in the number,” Rhodey admitted. Scott handed him a hat. “Oh, wow!” he beamed as he put on the hat and partnered up with Carol to dance with.

Both Bucky and Tony stayed still in the middle, a bit annoyed at how long the song has gone on.

“Jesus fuck, when is this going to end?” Tony mumbled.

Their friends slowly surrounded the two and began chanting, “ _Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss! Dance, dance, dance, dance! Kiss, dance, kiss, dance, kiss, dance, kiss, dance, kiss, dance!_ ”

“Okay fine!” Bucky interrupted as he took off his hat and pulled Tony in for a kiss.

“ _Yay!_ ” their friends exclaimed in excitement.

A blush slowly appeared on Tony’s face when he felt Bucky’s lips on his. He had forgotten how much he loves Bucky’s kisses. _Huh. Maybe we should get back together_ , Tony thought. Tony was drawn out of his thoughts when his friends’ voices sang a bit louder.

“ _It’s confirmed! Wee-ha! It’s official! Yee-hoo! The group mind has decided you’re in love!_ ”

As their friends began finishing their song, Bucky reached for Tony’s hand. “Let’s get out of here, doll. I feel like we have something to discuss,” he smirked.

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: 12 June 2019. 
> 
> I went back and changed Morgan to Cleo. I realized I shouldn't have used Morgan since that name is reserved for Pepperony.


End file.
